sex joke.

i can’t even blame it on the booze

i can’t even blame it on the coke

i know you should be home with her

but you taste like sin & smoke

here comes where the beat drops

your gaze cuts to me & that’s when

this is the part where i give in

& relapse to bad habits again

there’s tequila roaring in my ears

all these flashing lights get me excited

i’m fucking burning

i’m fucking flying

& you know you never need to be invited

i’ll tell you any lie you want to hear

i’ll be any fantasy you want to play

i’m never learning

always half dying

& i know it’s wrong but i’ll do it anyway

i know that i’m awful

& i know this would break her heart

i push the self hate down with sabotage

& i’ll rip myself apart

here comes where you’ve got me against the wall

& now you’ve got your hands all over me

this is the part where you give in

we could never let a neat ending be

there’s pills rocketing my entire system

your party girl, your good time

im the curtain call

im the neon lights

go on & tell your friends you’re not leaving with them

you’re perfectly out of reach, you’re never mine

i can always do it all

im all yours tonight

& when you head out the door i’ll be just fine

i don’t want to know what you’ve been up to

i don’t want you to ask me how i’ve been

i don’t want white pickett fences

just a round of shots again

you could never hurt me

someone else already made sure my heart broke

so go on & blame it on the booze, love

we were never more than a sex joke.

—wolfcalls